Tulip Time

I typically love Tulip Time. In the past we always made a point of going down to watch the dutch dancers and of course grab some junk food. This year was different, we of course did the junk food, but passed on watching the dutch dancers. I could not force myself to go, I know that the park is going to be filled with people I know pushing strollers or holding hands with their toddler. After every new option for treatment, I would imagine what the next year would bring. Last summer, I was positive I would become pregnant! I told friends that I would probably pass on canoeing because I would be pregnant or I would pass on making plans to go to the casino because I was going to be pregnant. Well, here I am, still not pregnant. It is becoming harder and harder to see happy moms with their adorable babies. I force myself to avoid facebook pictures because I know that it will make me depressed. Will this summer be the year? Do I think positive thoughts? Or do I try to tell myself it won't be the year? Will that make it easier? Understanding is God's Responsiblity. Trusting is Ours.